A justified rant... That person "seems" like an idiot.

Annoying! It is pretty common, as far as I've experienced, that the Sugar Team will pretty much remove comments or "warn" a member for any reported comment. Kind of like a huge umbrella that makes the complainers STFU since they are also the ones who tend to cause trouble, be vocal (rude), and make the site less enjoyable for other people with a little more perspective and common sense! Complaint=Guilty, with no chance of being proven innocent.

Bottom line: Ridiculous, but Sugar is a running a business, not just a community. Unfortunate, but these things are just reminders of that.

I'm glad you posted about it though. It (silently) bugs a lot of us!

Shadowdamage, I'll echo jenious on this one.

I see you've been a member for about two months. Over the past year or so, the tone on Sugar has definitely shifted. I used to see much more open and honest, if sometimes enthusiastic, discussion. It was still generally civil. Now, it is aggressive, insulting, and often offensive. Because of that, people's sensitivity is heightened. If you feel someone has overreacted to some of your comments--and I believe I have seen this myself--that's why.

If you notice, on CitizenSugar, the number of conservative comments has gone way down. I suspect the number of active participants has, too. That's because of this shift in tone. I know that I have pretty much abandoned Citizen, and retreated to some of the side groups (and other sites).
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The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money. -- Alexis de Tocqueville

I'm sorry my friend...I got zapped for getting mad a at resident troll at citizen for disparaging a dead man's family. Go figure...

Wow Shadow your comments are so respectful Im surprsied someone would report it. Im truly surprised that you were reported before me too!

Some people need to get a life..seriously.

Well, I have gotten censored/censured about 4 or 5 times, and I would say it was probably well deserved for the most part. However, the last time it happened I was criticizing someone's political beliefs for being cold (one of our libertarian friends on citizen). And honestly, I was not trying to offend, but it was just an objective, common critique of one aspect of libertarianism- that those with disabilities ultimately may be left to die if no one can provide for them. And I think it actually hurts discussion when you censor things like, "wow, it seems kind of cold to think that someone with down's syndrome should be left to die if no one can provide care for him (because the govt. wouldn't be doing so)."

Also, something that bothers me. I am glad attacks against others are discouraged, but sometimes I'm surprised to see things like "Sienna Miller is a slutty wh*re who broke up a nice guy's family and I hope she dies of an STD" on popsugar. Granted, these celebs put themselves in the limelight, and I don't have a problem with people expressing distaste over someone's choices, but it does kind of still create a nasty environment anyway, so it seems a little inconsistent to censor comments that have actual content vs. comments that are just kind of vitriolic.

Anyway, don't feel bad! Also, it is possible the person didn't actually report your comment, but that citizen just decided to remove it anyway.

Snow, I was about to say that. Sometimes they just go through and clean things up. No one reports it, it just is deemed against the TOS. Also, sometimes other people not involved in the situation report things. There is no telling. But I echo Laine's sentiments.

Thanks everyone,

I certainly do appreciate the thoughtful input! Wow - I was surprised by the amount of responses, and I thank you for that.

I have tried in the few weeks I've been here to find friends on all sides, and have been pleased to share jokes with people who are seemingly quite different when directly compared. I like that, I like knowing I can connect with people on something even if in other ways we may be vastly different.

But what I do not like, and what I really try to avoid in myself - is unnecessarily being unkind, automatically making negative assumptions about people who may be different than me, etc.

Where I may be flawed is when I do see people behaving that way, I want to stop it. Not to be bossy - not to be unkind - but because I think that kind of stupid, immature bull**it is exactly what gets in the way of all of us having a bit better lives.

Her response to my initial comment sort of made me think "she's beyond hearing what I want to say"...and ultimately I just wandered off, but the reporting did surprise me.

For what its worth, here are some additional thoughts I had on this:

1)For the very reason that I was not attacking a PERSON or even her beliefs, but instead questioning her tone of voice, I would be troubled if this violates the TOS. Since when does having an opinion about someone's tone of voice violate a TOS? What kind of TOS would allow it? Maybe I am not as politically correct, but asking someone to consider their tone hardly seems more unkind than the initial comment that I was striving to counter. I didn't use foul language or call her names. (Admittedly, though, after the snide retort about my "sense of humor", I came rather close and compared her temperament to a cat/claws.)

I simply said that making those kinds of statements makes her SEEM rude, and that "blanket statements" are unhelpful. To me, that is in no way disrespectful. Its simply saying "Hey...no need for that is there?"

2)I realize this is the "intarwebz" and people often behave in ways they would not dream of in real life - here's the catch, I do behave the same way. When I get frustrated with someone, its not because I "hate" them, and I don't necessarily dislike people I do not agree with. But if someone were that rude, flippant and unkind in real life, I would call them out on it - not by being equally rude and flippant but by trying to say "Hey, do you realize that you are coming off that way, and that it doesn't help anybody?"

Again, I'm not here to make enemies, the world has enough anger in it as it is - but sometimes even trying to UNDERSTAND what motivates people's behavior is enough to make me want to wander off and stick my head into a warm mug of tea, and never ever come out again.

Thanks again everyone, I appreciate the "ear!"

K

Shadow, if you did that, Sugar Land would lose a thoughtful and (mostly ) neutral poster.

Sometimes people don't want to hear opinions that don't mirror their own. I agree the possible reporting of the comment was unnecessary. And if it was a TOS violation, that's pretty lame too. It doesn't seem like you did anything wrong.

Needless to say, I (and many others I'm sure!) appreciate your comments and would be bummed if this incident pushed you out of here.

Nah it won't, bluesarahlou, I promise you that - because it didn't bother me that much in the sense that I would change what I do. But what it DID do..was surprise me, and though I believe in trying to keep things generally civil (its just more fun, and more productive), I also think there's such a thing as being heavy-handed and not really seeing what is being said.

I mean, seeking out WORDS someone doesn't like..."petty", for instance, is one thing, but ignoring the context, the actual application of the word is something else entirely!

As for my neutrality, thanks! I'm glad it shows. (Well perhaps it does on SOME things...on others, I'm not so neutral but hey, I'm only human!)

I have strong opinions on a lot of subjects, but in general I'm here to share and listen and consider opposing viewpoints, but I mostly stop by for the occasional chuckle and bit of banter.

On an unrelated note I am starting to sound like a female Niles Crane which is freaking me out so I'm going to leave it there.